i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
