This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
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