She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
