you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
