after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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