Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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