But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
