Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
