While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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