Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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