i think i have herpe
just one?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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