At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
