As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
