Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
