so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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