I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Umm I'm too high to move.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
