Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
