Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Ketchup is God's man juice
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
