I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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