addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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