I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
