So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I have post one night stand depression
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
