I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
