I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
