I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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