she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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