very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
