where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
