I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
