he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
