I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do vagina's smell?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Your cock deserves a montage
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
