I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
