a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
