Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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