Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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