don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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