the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Mom said you looked used
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We're too hungover to prance.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
