i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize