paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize