Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Farmville is her only friend.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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