I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Randomize
