I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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