Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
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