Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Come on in and take your pants off
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