just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize