I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
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