She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
