did you get engaged???
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
