in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
