I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
