We're facebook friends in real life
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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