Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
