Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
