god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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