AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
