You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize