Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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