if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
