i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
