benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
