used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
