It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
