just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
