dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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