There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
