I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
