Your tits are I can't wait for
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
