his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
