i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
