Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
