one two three fourrrrnication!
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
