He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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