Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
