do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
